adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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