I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
