Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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