she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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