I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
