This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
