every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
