how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
