everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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