Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
