my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
