I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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