Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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