your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
