If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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