i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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