Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
