They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
