i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
