You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Randomize
