The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
