my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
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