that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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