Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Randomize
