We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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