Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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