is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Too much gin, very little bucket
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
