I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
