iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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