A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
