You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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