What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
