Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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