when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
