You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
