you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Randomize
