When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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