you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
