i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
