overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
