you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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