i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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