oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
