they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
