put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
