She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Boobs are out for the taking
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
