he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
