Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
