do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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