I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
