I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
